The best running trails around Up Cerne

​Other Church Highlights ​The Napier Memorial: In the north chapel, there is a massive, cathedral-sized monument to Sir Nathaniel Napier (1725). It’s so large and impressive that it takes up the entire east wall of the chapel, featuring elaborate carvings that seem almost too grand for such a small village church. ​The "Road-Side" Entrance: Unusually, the main doorway is located in the west face of the tower and opens directly onto the main A352 road—so watch your step as you exit! ​Trafalgar Ties: Look for the memorial to Henry Digby, who commanded the HMS Africa during the Battle of Trafalgar. ​The church is often described as having "magnolia-washed" walls, which provides a bright, clean backdrop for the heavy, historic stonework. It’s a quiet, reflective place where you can literally stand over the roots of the Churchill family tree.

The St Andrew's Church in Minterne Magna is a small, late-medieval gem that feels more like a private family chapel due to its close ties with the neighboring Minterne House. ​While the church has bits and pieces from the 15th century, including its font and bells, it is primarily famous as the resting place and memorial site for the families who shaped British history—specifically the Napiers and the Churchills. ​The Churchill Connection ​Before the Churchills moved on to Blenheim Palace, Minterne was their family seat. The church holds some of the earliest monuments to the dynasty: ​The "Original" Sir Winston: In the floor near the pulpit, you’ll find a grave slab for John Churchill (d. 1659), the father of the first Sir Winston Churchill (who was the great-great-grandfather of the WWII Prime Minister). ​General Charles Churchill (d. 1714): On the north wall of the nave, there is a grand, ornate 18th-century monument to the younger brother of the 1st Duke of Marlborough. Charles was a hero in his own right, fighting alongside his brother at the Battle of Blenheim. ​Ellen Churchill: Nearby lies a slab for Ellen, the Duke of Marlborough’s sister.

Think of the River Cerne as a tiny, liquid VIP lane. The path is a delightful mix of "Look at that charming duck!" and "Oh, my left boot is now a submarine." It’s a narrow, muddy adventure where you’ll dodge overhanging branches like a clumsy ninja while the water cheerily burbles past, mocking your lack of waterproof gear. Perfect for a scenic stroll, provided you don't mind the occasional soggy sock or a face-to-face meeting with a very confused cow. It’s Dorset’s answer to a jungle trek, just with more nettles and fewer jaguars!

The Cerne Abbey Abbot's Porch is a stunning, three-story fragment of history that serves as a grand reminder of the abbey's former glory. It’s the kind of place where you can just sit and admire the intricate stonework and that iconic two-story oriel window. ​It feels wonderfully peaceful, tucked away at the end of Abbey Street. Since it’s one of the few pieces of the 15th-century monastery still standing, it has a very grounded, quiet presence. It’s perfect for a slow wander when you want to soak up the medieval atmosphere without any rush.

Hidden behind the church lies the Silver Well, a mystical pool where Saint Augustine allegedly tapped the ground and told the water to "get a move on." It’s famous for "healing" properties, though mostly it’s just great at chilling your ankles. Legend says drinking the water at sunrise brings babies or visions; nowadays, it just brings hikers looking for a quiet spot to contemplate why they wore sandals. A peaceful, leafy nook for some holy hydration!

Tucked away near the church, these wooden relics were the medieval version of a "time-out" corner. Reserved for petty crooks or bakers selling dodgy loaves, they’re now just a prime photo op. It’s the only place in town where getting stuck between two pieces of wood is actually considered a highlight!

Standing tall since the 1300s, St Mary’s is where you go to feel ancient and slightly judged by stone gargoyles. It boasts a stunning 15th-century tower and a posh stone screen that’s older than your family tree. Don't miss the medieval wall paintings—they’ve survived centuries of damp and hymns. It’s the perfect, holy spot to pray for forgiveness after giggling at the Giant’s nakedness just five minutes up the road. Amen to that!

Towering over the village is Britain’s most "well-endowed" landmark, a 180-foot chalk giant who clearly forgot his trousers—and his modesty. Carved into the hillside with a massive club and an even more massive... ego, he’s been blushing hikers for centuries. Legend says sleeping on his "manhood" boosts fertility, but most people just settle for a breathless selfie. He’s ancient, he’s shameless, and he’s definitely the only hillside that’s genuinely happy to see you.